I Must Be Normal Long Enough to Make New Friends

Scene:  smallish house in western rural Ohio.
Time:  Thanksgiving week
Cast:  Seven adults, four kids, two dogs, one cat; plus miscellaneous adults and children wandering in and out throughout the week


In the midst of the insanity that we affectionately call Thanksgiving, my niece-in-law, Susan (don't know how else to accurately identify her: she is the wife of my husband's nephew, but we are nearly the same age.  OK, she's a few years younger), and I had stimulating conversations about Chex Mix, yams, washing dishes, homeschooling and families, sprinkled with keen insights about "normal."

Me & three Ohio niece-in-laws at Thanksgiving

I had the uncomfortable revelation that I would have to "act normal" to make new friends in Edinburgh.  Upon sharing this thought with Susan, we discussed what normal looked like, and how some people make normal look easy.


One of the other niece-in-laws admitted to passing herself off as much more normal than she perceives herself.  She tends to note make the loud, stream-of-consciousness comments to which I am prone.  Maybe at 42 I could learn to speak with an inside voice and not say everything that I think?  Hmmm, now there's an idea.


Perhaps normal is less frequently normal than we think?  Making new friends as an adult is a delicate dance that involves finding common ground, feeling comfortable with the other person and regular interaction or frequent proximity.  However, the elements of this dance can be sidetracked when one of the parties is perceived as deviating from the comfortable or acceptable norm -- oddities that may be explained away,  ignored or even embraced in an established friendship.  


I'm thinking this sounds like dating vs. marriage.  After 11 years here in Marietta, I'm married to my friends -- guess it's time to start dating again.