How to Induce Stroke Symptoms in Average Middle-Aged White Women

1) Take a time-release Ambien @ 11:30 p.m. after grandparental units have arrived here from the holiday-crazed airport. (Thank you, darling, for retrieving them.)

2) Go to sleep, soundly & deeply

3) @ 3:30 a.m. be awakened quietly by stealthy six-year-old who is crouched down on your side of the bed, so not to disturb the sleeping Father-Giant on the other side of the bed.

4) Roll out of bed, sway violently.  Try not to fall over back into bed or knock over said six year old.

5) Sway into the bathroom, try land on seat with first attempt.  Figure out how to get arms to work together to get toilet paper off roll and to the right place.

6) Stagger across hall in to child's bedroom, avoiding various toys on floor.

7) Cover, kiss and cuddle the child, keeping talking to a minimum so she won't think her mother's stone drunk in the middle of the night.  Try to make arms work in coordinator to hug her and use the door knob.

7) Weave back to own side of the bed.  Sleep heavily until morning.