State of the First Grader's Bedroom Address

Sweet Mother of Abraham Lincoln.


Certain members of this family are not on board with the current goals of this administration.


As this family moves forward and out of the country, it sometimes become necessary for the mental health of the mother to THROW THINGS AWAY.  Things that will be relocated to the Ginormous Contractor Clean Up Bag include, but are not limited to:  (these are hard facts of life, but now is as good a time as any to learn them)


1) garbage -- this includes sticker sheets with one sticker on them, dried out markers, lip balms with no lid, hair bows with no clip, past issues of Clubhouse and National Geographic Kids that have been so well-read that the pages are silky and scarce, AND empty doll boxes from past Christmases and birthdays.    


2) puzzles missing pieces


3) games missing parts


4) Barbie dolls and Polly Pockets with missing body parts


5) books that look like they were in a third-world mission barrel 15 years ago


6) socks missing mates


7) swimsuits (see previously listed criteria in last week's swimsuit post)


8) any toy or gadget that was at some point part of a fast food kid's meal.


9) "life size" Barbie doll with her dislocated, detached leg and home-cut hair


10) items purchased from the Dollar Tree or dollar section at Target that have helped fuel China's ownership of our future.


With these goals in mind, do I or do I not root through said black garbage bag that is sitting in the driveway to unearth the empty, torn Madeline doll box that apparently was serving as Madeline's bed; at the time of it's relocation, Madeline was not in the box-bed.